You're short of breath, is it a heart attack?
(PSB – Can You Forgive Her)

As quickly as the divorce drama unfolded at my house with my parents, it has somehow wrapped itself up again and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. My dad has somehow accepted his "lost sovereignty" status and has resorted to redirecting his resentment and bitterness by redoing our kitchen floors.

For some reason or another I have a feeling this drama is going to unfold again come Christmas.

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Speaking of Christmas...I'm asking Santa for a baby brother. Don't screw me over old man!

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I love Christmas. I can understand the crowds at the mall; the crying kids; the angry parents looking for that last tickle me Elmo; and the bad drivers in snow; but what the fuck is up with people and their crazy holiday outfits? Is there any other season or occasion when it’s cool to wear bright green and red sweaters with Frosty the snowman or Rudolph the reindeer on the front? People always complain that my white socks don’t match my black dress pants (I'm way too tired in the morning to be running around looking for socks to match my pants) but hello, your sweater doesn’t match ANYTHING.

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Ok...your sweater doesn’t match anything EXCEPT wrapping paper!
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I think my dog has an eye infection. His left eye is all red. I’m going to take him to the vet tomorrow to have it checked out. Hopefully it’s not too serious and it doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg to have it checked out.

Imagine how badass it would be if the vet gave him an eye patch! Next Halloween we could dress up as Captain Hook and Muffin, his badass dog!

It’s always the kids that lose when it comes to divorce, especially the 28 year old kids.
(Weezer – The Sweater Song)

My parents are divorced but my dad doesn’t know it. Apparently my mom has filed for divorce over a year ago and she has put down on her tax forms that her status is divorced. My dad however, has never seen these forms until this year and he has never signed any divorce papers. Now he wants me to figure out how my mom can file a divorce without his signature. So I’m running back and forth between my parents relaying questions and messages. Did I mention my parents are 50+ years old?

I have such disdain for people who dump their baggage on other people.

After inquiring with my mom about the issue, I get next to no information and I tell my dad that he’ll have to call a divorce lawyer to discuss how it all works. Now my dad is saying that I’m siding with my mom and I’m not standing up to my mom for him. He rants and raves about how he’s lost sovereignty in this family. Sovereignty? Is this family some sort of country now? If we were, we’d make Iraq look like a well-established democracy. To top this all off, he’s threatening to go back to Vietnam to live a life of solitude once everything is resolved. Frankly, if this keeps up I might beat him to it.

Hi, my name is Khiem and I have a dysfunctional family.

We had too much time to find for ourselves.
(Pet Shop Boys – Being Boring)

Here’s a very witty little story…possibly an old wives tale, an urban myth, shameless spam or all of the above...but regardless, very witty.
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The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." This student received the only full marks for the bonus question.
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That brings back some sweet memories of university...

- skipping morning classes because you were up all night bowling at 24 hr bowling alley that offered a rate of $2/game
- starting your weekends on Wednesday nights
- $200 all-you-can-drink karaoke bar, followed by bowing to the all-you-can-puke porcelain god
- 48 - 72 hr exam cram sessions to try and pass a course you only attended sporadically (because some hot girl you knew was going to be there)
- stealing bus shelter posters of the latest Guess girl and being chased by cops through the neighborhood while you cling onto the poster like a suitcase full of diamonds
- crazy keg parties
- staying up late talking to friends that now only talk to you if they happen to be getting married, having a baby or want you to be the father of their baby
- living on frozen foods, instant noodles, kraft dinner and kool-aid
- copying labs from previous years and still taking 6 - 10 hours to do so (editing to match with your set of data)
- meeting new people on a daily basis
- chocolate covered coffee beans
- dancing at clubs with reckless abandon
- drinking with reckless abandon
- living life with reckless abandon

I could go on but maybe you can add to this list...

Toronto ranked #1 in bicycle theft. Growing concerns about cone theft.


Inside.


Pull my finger.


ahahaha...

Bad Intelligence
(New Order - Blue Monday)

Bloggity, blog, blog...buh-log.

Duddy Dan’s bday was just this past weekend. We partied like we were 20 yr old university students. Re-living our glory days? – possibly. Fun was had by all. Especially Danny boy who wore an orange pylon on his head, rode a locked up bicycle, broke his zipper with it fully zipped up and played with live lobsters at Rolsan’s.

Interesting twist to the weekend...

Dan had two friends from Houston, TX visiting. One of them turned out to be a good high school friend of my ex (thanks for the warning Dan…bad intelligence…bad, bad intelligence). It was a bit odd to be reminded of someone I’ve put behind me over a year ago. Regardless, I still had fun and the past is still the past. It’s just crazy how small the world is.
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Christmas is almost here...I can almost feel my spirit lifting...
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Today’s delusion of grandeur...

I wish I had the power to turn every piece of litter on the streets into 100 pieces of litter and have them teleported to the house of the person that was responsible for that piece of litter.
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So does anyone think the US is going to act on the global warming reports with Bush at the helm? I mean after all, North America is only responsible for 40% of global warming. The only country part of G7 that has not supported this issue -- those Republicans are such trend setters!!

Burning Bush Part II
(Gwen - What Are You Waiting For)

Americans Flock to Canada's Immigration Web Site

I guess my last post wasn't too far off :$

Burning Bush
(Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home)

Last night I had a bad dream. I dreamt I was American.
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I propose we open the Canadian border to US political refugees. I'll sponsor John Stewart
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Americans should actually look on the bright side. It can't get much worse and given another 4 years, maybe Bush's trickle down economics will trickle down to the majority of you :)
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I love you Canada!

What's the word, word up!
(Cameo - Word Up)

Now I hate to bring up the topic of remakes and how they're usually so bad, but this recent remake has gotten my boxers in a bunch. Korn's remake of Cameo's "word up", I fart in it's general direction. There are two major reasons why this remake sucks -- you can't do a remake of a Cameo song without paying homage to 1) the red cup over tight pants; and 2) Giordi LaForge as the dancing cop (before he lost his eyesight). You gotta have real balls to dance around wearing a bright red cup over tight pants, and I mean that both figuratively and literally. So unless Korn is ready to grow some balls and do this the right way, I laugh at yet another bad remake!
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This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. And you're here reading my blog. Sad. So Sad. Wait...come back!